Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Found: bunch of dildos in an alley off Irving

If you are missing 4 dildos and a pair of socks, please go to the alley between Georgia and Warder and Kenyon and Irving.

No, really. The other day I was at a friend's house, and he suggested I check out the alley. Not sure what I would find, I walked down a bit and then discovered what he was talking about. There were 4 dildos (or technically vibrators) strewn about in the middle of the alley, plus some batteries, a newspaper, and a pair of socks. Three of them were identical, plus one other. (The fourth was a little up the alley from this cluster.)

Now it's funny enough that there are random sex toys in an alley. But to me, the more interesting thought exercise is, why are they there? Maybe this was a Halloween costume gone awry? Or somebody was getting back at their roommate by tossing their sex toys out. Or maybe there was something illicit going on in a car and the perps ditched the evidence? Somebody was going to a sex toy party (like a Tupperware party) and got scared and started running? The possibilities are endless. Feel free to speculate in the comments (but let's keep it PG-13.)

To make it more confusing, what's up with the socks? And there was something that looked like photo paper  -- obviously I wasn't going to touch it. Nearby there was a backpack, but who knows if that's related. I guess you have to carry them around somehow?

The randomness of stuff around our neighborhood never ceases to amaze me.


  1. It's no worse than the myriad of used condoms I see on the streets and sidewalks.

  2. Perhaps the batteries were dead and the person threw them out a window in frustration?

  3. I feel like I can explain the socks....

  4. How come you did not pick them up? Free dildos/vibrators are hard to come by!!

  5. Sounds like a bro-rape costume... "Sir, is that a bag full of black dildos?"

  6. not sure we'd be laughing if this was the aftermath of a sex crime... let's hope it was a prank. Either way, gross.

  7. Surprised no one mentioned the possibility this was someone's bag snatched and result of the thief rummaging through it and tossing contents out for anything valuable...


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