Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Dogs banned from 11th and Park Dog Park

No more of this behavior
Big news today from the dog park at 11th and Park: the city and the group Friends of the Columbia Heights Dog Park have announced that after hundreds of complaints, dogs are now banned from the park.

"The dogs were making a mess," said one local resident who asked not to be named. "They were running everywhere, pooping all over the place, barking at each other and generally being super annoying." Others reported loud use of squeaky toys late into the night, pee and a growing anti-cat and squirrel sentiment in the area around the park.

The park will now be open from 8am to 8pm for humans only, allowing them to run freely without a leash, chase balls and sniff each others' butts.

While the land isn't technically a city park, as it's owned by Metro, city parks director Jim Smith said he supported the move. "It's time that humans finally had a place to be themselves in the city, to enjoy the outdoors and run free. We hope this park lets them return to how they ought to behave: like the wild animals they are." As for the dogs? "I dunno, they can go play poker or something."


Pat Flynn said...

Ha. Ha. Ha.

DRC said...

Damn, and we just got a dog last week...

Well played, sir.

Anonymous said...

April Fools?