The Pinch at 3548 14th Street NW is hosting Burlesque and Belly Laughs, a burlesque show with no cover. Their Facebook invite says "And to top it off, we're giving everything away for free* - FREE SHOWS! FREE IMPROV! FREE BOOBIES! Food never tasted better, drinks were never wetter. Your entire body is alive with passions and cravings that need to be quelled. Come for a night of great food, great drinks, and great entertainment." Might be a fun, non-traditional date.
The Blue Banana at 3632 Georgia Ave NW is hosting "BlackLightLoveBombs," a V-Day party with $4 drinks and beers and a video DJ "spinning sexy music all night long."
Over at The Getaway at 1400 Meridian Pl NW they're holding District Karaoke, which might be a good option for "Love Stinks" or "You've Lost that Loving Feeling" (or some Air Supply -- "You're Every Woman in the World to Me.")
Eatonville at 2121 14th St NW and Chez Billy at 3815 Georgia Ave NW are also good options for a nice date meal.
Some other nice date options I'd suggest would be Room 11 for drinks and dinner (though I bet it'll be crowded) and Mt. Pleasant's Last Exit for drinks. Last Exit especially is dark and intimate, might be a nice place for canoodling over a cocktail.
And if you don't care about this dumb holiday, Wonderland, the Looking Glass Lounge and the Red Derby are probably good options for just a regular night to complain or ignore it altogether and have a few drinks. The Derby especially is a good bah-humbug type place, and Wonderland has chicken and waffles today. Pretty awesome.
Those are my ideas, how about yours?